Kyra Arndt, Editor

When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do? Shovel your mouth full of food, I’m sure. Now, why do you commit such an act? Is it truly because you want to, or is it because the government wants you to? Think about it—what items most often appear on your grocery bill? Groceries! Now, why would we contribute all this money to such an insignificant thing, if it were not to feed the beast of capitalism. According to my sources, food brings in a lot of money for the economy. Therefore, the government is spreading this propaganda in order to get little more bang on their paychecks. 

Wake up, America. Food is a lie. Quick, off the top of your head, can you name a single study that proves food is necessary for life? I certainly cannot! This lie is even being spread in schools. In biology class, they tell us food is necessary in order for us to have energy. Did you catch that—our public school system has fallen victim to this utter witchcraft! You are telling me Tom Brady is able to score slam dunks with the help of twinkies? Please, when squirrels fly! 

Yes, our school systems are the center of this whole ordeal.  The government uses citizens’ hard-earned money to fund school lunch programs. Not only do they teach kids that they “need to eat,” but they literally stuff their agenda down their throats. The government has indoctrinated our youth, and this needs to stop. 

We must look to nature for our solution. We must turn to a world untouched by man, pure as a bride on her wedding day. Look to the heavens, but then lower your gaze. Notice the green greenery—the grass, the flowers, the trees. Do you see them eating? No! For the plants still obey the Law of our Righteous Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. How do they get their nutrients? Why, through photosynthesis, of course. It is time for us to return to nature. Pray to the Almighty, and He will show you how to use our God-given abilities to secrete our own food. No more will we be reliant on food and no longer will we follow the government’s lies. Make our Founding Fathers proud and fight for freedom, one sunbeam at a time.